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Not sure what this third party is doing, but hey! My design and where to get it if you are interested :)
Stop with all the self-depreciating bullshit. You’re cool. You know that. You know you’re intelligent - don’t hide behind a stupid disguise. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes, but never hide who you really are inside. No one worth your time is going to insult your intellect if you /truly try/.
Stop being such a hypochondriac - you’re not making yourself or anyone else feel better by complaining about your aches, sores and aliments.
"Life is pain, Princess. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something." - The Dread Pirate Roberts (The Princess Bride)
We, as humans, suffer every single day. We put up with the suffering for the good times that are almost certain to follow. Not every annoyance is a symptom of a deadly illness. Get off WebMD. Stop googling symptoms.
Get passionate about your creations. Let go. Nothing truly bad has come from creating beautiful art. Work harder. If you’re afraid of tackling the unknown - look it up. You have no reason whatsoever to put this off. Learn. Explore the world around you. The world is full of endless knowledge and possibilities - don’t shy away from it, you’ll only fall farther behind.
You’re talented. You play the Sims, not for the gameplay - only to construct beautiful structures that only existed in your head until you had the right tools to express your ideas. This is the same for Photoshop, Mudbox, Max… They’re all tools at your disposal. Use them.
Stop dwelling in the past. You’ve hurt people, and people have hurt you. You’re not getting anywhere by looking backwards. Keep your head in the present. I’m afraid you’re going to trip in the future if you don’t pay attention to what’s around you right now, and what’s coming up ahead.
Love yourself goddamn it. You’re beautiful, intelligent, and a genuinely nice person. Loving yourself should be a conscious physical act.
"Love, love is a verb. Love is a doing word." - Teardrop by Massive Attack
Take care of your body, treat yourself like you would treat a best friend. Go on walks with it, talk to it, ask what it wants and what it needs. If your best friend wasn’t feeling hungry, but hadn’t eaten all day - you’d still try to get them to eat. Don’t deny that. You’re no different than them.
FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL IT IS TO WANT SOMETHING, AND WHAT LENGTHS YOU’RE WILLING TO GO TO TO GET IT.
"You only live once" - Stop taking that phrase as something irresponsible teenagers say to justify downing an entire bottle of tequila in a night. It actually makes a lot of sense as a personal reminder. I believe it should be placed beside "Memento Mori" (Remember that you /will/ die). Make the most of this life, it’s the only chance you have to get it right… to put your mark on the world.
Can you really say that if we died today, that we’d be happy? Talk about going out with a fizzle - A bloody good epitaph that’d make : “Here lies Miranda _________. She finished college, was okay at baking, had pretty hair, made some t-shirts, and once earned level 4 marksmanship status.” That’s pretty much it. ZZZZZZ.
Speaking of sleep. Dammit girl, I know you spent a month sleeping, but don’t try to make up for it with the insomnia thing. Get your shit sorted out. Please follow up with the doctor and get help. You’ve already figured out you’re depressed. Don’t keep going to your friends for help - they don’t have the required skills and tools to help you. They’re good for support, but you can’t rely on them alone.
Don’t forget that you do mean a lot - but you’re meant to mean a lot more.
I’ve been on birth control (specifically Alysena 21) for the last year or so, and I’ve been dealing with depression. It was only tonight that I made the connection.
I think my birth control might be causing me to feel depressed. I’m going to try to stop it very soon, and see how I feel.
Along with my earlier post, here are some findings from today.
I try to stick to my “tried and true” methods without investigating why. For instance, today I told someone off for using water in chocolate while trying to melt it without having a logical reason why it’s bad. I only knew that it ‘ruined’ the chocolate when I did it, but couldn’t explain my reasoning. When questioned why, I panicked and got very upset. Afterwards it did turn gritty but I had no idea why. (The reason, as I looked up is that the dry parts of chocolate, being sugar and cocoa, stick together and make it dry and crunchy.)
This double standard of telling people off for doing something I personally believe is wrong without knowing the science behind it, or having actual proof that it is right or wrong emulates practices I do not like, such as those of fundamental christianity. I hold such a hippocratic view, even unintentionally. I should keep tabs on why I decide things are bad or not.
Going into the media industry, I had it pointed out to me that I lack basic knowledge about pop culture. I’m a very uncultured individual. When others are discussing old movies, I often feel left out and don’t ask for clarification.
I digress, I need help. I think I need to look into psychiatric treatment. Maybe the birth control I’m on is giving me depression or paranoia. It seems like it started when I went on it.
I’m not who I was a year or two ago. I recently graduated college, came down with mono, and now I’m stuck thinking about everything really critically. I am not who I was. I have to work hard to get back on track.
In some ways, the plan worked; I have less issues with my family, I left the job that made me upset, I’m living with my fiancé - the steps to the end goal were similar, but the road I took lead to a dead end that stripped away my self-worth and positive qualities.
I asked what I used to be like. I was creative, curious, clever, confident, charming, and beautiful. I used to be daring, adventurous, sociable, and active. When I realized my main goal in life, I cried out of happiness at the prospect of my life having purpose outside of serving others. I wanted to be a free artist. Free to do my own work. Free to move about as I pleased. For a long time after the breakthrough, I lost sight of that goal.
Now I feel like an introverted, overweight, and annoying pain to be around. I’m a nervous wreck, weighed down by anxiety and abandonment issues. I have horrible self-image problems, and I’m investigating the possibility of being depressed - and it seems very likely.
My fiancé has stood beside me for all of this, and even now I can see he’s at his wits ends about it. I’m going to need a support network outside of him. It’s not fair of me to ask him to put aside his own serious issues to help me with mine.
I used to be so bold and exciting. I had creative ideas and I inspired others. I just find it so hard to open up to others now. I’ll go out with a few people, but not contribute to conversations for hours (outside of jumping in with irrelevant stories or factoids that distrupt the flow). I rely on verbal tics and memories to carry conversations.
When I try to boost my self esteem, I realize how far I’ve fallen. My punky clothes no longer fit, and I’m much more modest - I’m afraid of showing too much skin. I’m worried about what people think of me and that makes me even more upset. I have stretch marks from my body expanding so rapidly, and my gut hangs out so much that people thought I was pregnant. I don’t even have enough self-worth to get dressed properly in the morning.
The only thing cool about me is my ever changing coloured hair, and I think even the novelty of that is wearing thin.
I need help.
A while ago, I penned a fairly angry response to something circulating on the internet – the 21 Habits of Happy People. It pissed me off beyond belief, that there was an inference that if you weren’t Happy, you simply weren’t doing the right things.
I’ve had depression for as long as I can…
So this video started going around my facebook today, with about a dozen of my female friends sharing the link with comments like, and “Everyone needs to see this”, and “All girls should watch this,” and “This made me cry.” And I’m not trying to shame those girls! I definitely understand why they would do so. And I don’t want to be a killjoy. But as I clicked link and started watching the video, I started to feel a slight sense of discomfort. I couldn’t put my finger on why that was, exactly, but it continued throughout the whole thing. After watching the video several more times, I have some thoughts…
Why I Need Feminism
I’ve gotten into so many arguments about feminism and why it’s relevant lately both on and off the internet I decided to make one of these.
That’s me. The pic on the left is what I look like. That’s what I wear to work, going out, everywhere.
On the right is what I would want to wear going out and hell even going for a coffee with my friends. I never do, though, because I’m afraid.
I’m afraid of the panic attack I have everytime a guy I don’t know touches me. Even if it’s on the arm and not threatening at all I feel so uncomfortable by unwanted physical attention I get physically ill.
I’m afraid that what happened when I once did go out in that dress might happen again: getting eye drops in my pint.
What angers me the most is when girls say they’re not feminists or that they don’t need feminism. WE ALL NEED IT. We all need a world where a girl can wear whatever she wants and
a) not get judged for wearing it and
b) doesn’t have to be afraid
It’s a joke in my circle of friends that I look like a 14-year-old boy. I don’t mind the joke, because it’s accurate and kind of funny to me. After reading up on feminism and all that on tumblr and following discussions and THINKING about thins stuff I realised why I feel more comfortable like that.
It’s because in the world I live in, it’s safer to be a 14-ear-old boy than a 28-year-old woman.
The way you put it hits me right in the chest
Guys this update made me realize something
Ok so you know how Vriska’s associated number is eight? And how the crowbar just so happened to smash the clock when she was killed?
How about the fact that Crowbar’s number is 7 and that when you add all of the digits of Terezi’s number (413) together you get 7?
Uhm… 4+1+3 = 8…